Just checking in and reading the blog. All of this with Mom and Dad hurts me and I have so much guilt and shame and feel like I've let them down. I wish I could do all the things I promised them I would do...I have prayed and cried about this so much...I'm crying now. I keep trying to convince myself that this is/was our last/best option,but then I hear them telling me not to put them in a home, not to just throw them away and forget them. I know all the arguments/reasons/pros/cons/blah blah blah for everything, I just can't get passed the fact that it feels wrong. I hope that so much of what I'm dealing with internally comes from the fact that I've been so far away from home the last 4 years when they/things really started getting bad. I also hope that moving closer and getting reengaged in them and what's going on with them will help me...I've felt out of the loop/removed the last 4 years because geographically I have been. I just continue to pray and cry and try to deal. I'm glad we have each other, because nobody knows the heartache of all of this unless they're going through it or have survived it already. Love you all, Jamie