Jeanie is right.  She and I both saw every day how horrible it was for them living there.  I too was terrified that I'd walk in and find one or both of them dead and that's not something I wanted to have to live with. There was absolutely no choice for us - in fact, we put it off longer than we should have.  It's a miracle that they both came out unharmed.  I know it doesn't make it any easier, but that's how it is.  I've already told Molli that if Jerry and I live to that point to put us somewhere to be taken care of.  It's the only fair and humane thing to do!  The reality is that when you reach their age you're not going to be self-sufficient.   Ideally, we live happily ever after, but unfortunately, ideally rarely happens and we have to go to plan B.  As Judy says, I try to keep my head buried in the sand, but when Dad called the other night I had to come up and breathe and it wasn't fun!   We will survive!!!   Love you all, pat