Jamie I know how hard this is for you and you're right in that part of it is because you weren't here to see that they had changed SOOOOO much from the Mom and Dad that you made those promises to! THAT Mom and Dad wouldn't have EVER been put somewhere in a home because those Mom and Dad were well and healthy~! Making those promises to them when you were just a kid isn't the same thing as making that promise to them when they were in such HORRIBLE living conditions over at the house! I hate that you have so much guilt and stuff over this and look at it as a horrible thing WE did when all you were really promising them is that you would do the best you could by them and take care of them the best you could and unfortunately this IS the best we could do! No sisters could have done more unless we all moved into a group home with all of our families and took turns taking care of them as if WE were the nursing home. That's really the only other solution that I know of and it is NOT an option on hundreds of levels!! I hope when you get "home" that you can come to peace with this whole thing about woulda/coulda/shoulda. I truly and honestly feel ok with everything because I KNOW that it was the only thing for THEM!! I'm so sorry that you aren't "ok" with all of it. You're absolutely right too that we're going to get through all of this together cause we're sisters and that's what we do! Love to all, Judy