Amen to all the comments by you Jamie and Pam too. It IS so hard but it was the only thing we could do and even today I feel it was the best decision we could have ever made. When Jeanie and I visited today, I didn't think Dad was any worse or better than before I left for Alaska. His speech was a little slurry and hard to understand but when we got there he was sitting in his wheelchair chewing his tobacco. He had commented to us that it was shower day and even though he hates it, he was laughing about them stripping you off and it was cold in there. Jeanie and I took him outside though and he seems to love it there. The staff had brought out a couple of other people and they were talking sweet to them like I hope they do to Dad when we're not around. I made the comment about everyone seemed nice and Dad said "oh they are really nice" and I truly don't think Dad hates it there at all! He made the comment about them coming in and giving him shots and he just holds out his arm and lets them. We were laughing that hopefully they knew what they were doing and giving shots to the right person. Dad was laughing about it too. Now Mom was a whole different story! When we got there, their door was shut but we heard people in there with Mom so we went to talk to Dad first. When they came out, Jeanie and I went in and Mom was already in bed! It was like 8:15 or 8:30! Jeanie tried to talk to her but she had her eyes only half open and was gritting her teeth together with that same exact look she had when she chewed me out that time Jeanie and I woke her up! Jeanie touched her or something once and she said stop or don't or something along those lines. We just let her sleep and kept checking on her but she was snoozing big time. I never got to talk to her or even see her awake. When she was laying there in her bed with the pads all around her, I realized that our Mother is gone and won't return I don't think except for a couple of moments here and there. The difference in her today and the last time I saw her before leaving for Alaska was huge. Maybe it was because she was sleeping for sure but I don't think that's all it is. She's slipping further and further away at a rapid rate as far as I can tell. I told Leisa today that Mom and I were as close and she and I are and to think about how hard it would be. It's totally heartbreaking! But it would be like this regardless of whether we had put them in LNC or left them at home! None of this is related to that I don't think. Mom has gone down so fast in the last year and it's a train wreck that can't be stopped! I wish there were a way to get her back for one more visit where I felt she truly knew me but I don't see it happening. I hope I'm wrong. We all just love them so much and we were/are so blessed to have had them as our parents. They did an awesome job and set a great example for us as parents. Who could ask for more than that. Love to you all, Judy